School's out....but who's free???

Well yesterday was the first official day of summer for the kids in our district. I agreed to watch my girlfriend's son for the summer and of course my son is also out of school. Usually when watching two kids its easier than one because they entertain each other, but these two just compete...and never mind that they are 9 years apart. I kind of let them do what they wanted to yesterday just to see how the natural flow of things would go before implementing my SUMMER STRUCTURE PLAN. (Insert ominus music here) I am a recovering perfectionist and current control freak who just happens to be a Christian, so I held back. But come Monday, we're going to the library and these boys are going to read some books this summer. I even planned our first field trip for the week after next. Okay, okay, so I didn't really hold back much, but at least I told them about the rewards that they can receive for their reading this summer. LOL I just don't believe in kids watching T.V. and playing video games all summer long...and that is how the natural order of things went yesterday. Oh Lord give me strength, my husband also decided that we are not going to use the dishwasher this summer so that our son can appreciate what he has, but I suspect his motive is mostly to offset the increase in the electric bill from keeping the A/C cooler than usual. Is my life really this boring?! LOL I've only been married for 6 months!!! :) Its just a feeling, right? It will pass. Of course being the obsessive compulsive person that I can be, I already started working on my projects for the summer. One of which I've just updated to tell more interesting stories on this blog!!! But seriously, I am working on the courage to share more of my life in truth. There are more things I would share, and even though no one reads this blog that I know of, it would be devastating to some if I just started pouring out all that was in my heart. Oh but how freeing it will be to my soul!!! I mean that is the very title of this blog...free to be me. I just have to be patient and trust that God will provide me with a format to share my experiences fully without fear of man. The bible says fear of man will prove to be a snare, or a trap. I have made leaps and bounds in the area of being free from what others think of me, yet I still don't have the heart to just rant and rave about the people closest to my heart in all of their human failure without at least changing the names to protect them. And frankly, I just don't have the energy for that by the time I've spent it all gathering my courage. I'll just continue to talk to God about it, and things will inevitably get better, as they always do when I consult the Cheif of the Universe!!!

Loooooooooooong Pause

Okay so I was gone for a loooooong break, but now I'm back and soooo much has changed. Let's start with the greatest change...Me and Jay are MARRIED now, and just celebrated our 6 month anniversary on the first. I am so content with my life. I love being married, and even though there's a lot to catch up on, I'm just going to jump in and let the blanks fill themselves in...

well after going back reading the last few blogs, maybe I will fill a few blanks in. :) Like how I am a stay at home step-mom/housewife now. That is a whole new and different challenge from the anxiety attacks that finally made me quit the cable call center world. If only I knew then that being a mom of any teenager is an anxiety attack in itself!! Okay, so its really not that bad, but we have had some serious changes including moving into a new nicer and bigger apartment, changing my son's school in the middle of the year, which was totally unrelated to the move, and adapting to living peaceably with each other in a clean and organized environment. Okay so the clean and organized part wasn't so hard for me, but it took some MAJOR adjustments for my sweet husband and our cleaning-disabled son. But that's all in the past now, and I am so proud of how both of Jay and Jamal have progressed at putting things away and cleaning up on a regular basis without too much "reminding". Lol I am NOT a nag! I don't care what you think!!! So now we fast forward into what should be an interesting summer. Today is Jamal's last day of school...and I have been haunted by that small voice again urging me to write. Write everyday. Just write something. But now instead of feeling guilty for not doing it for so long I feel like I have an old friend back. I've even started a new piece of artwork recently and have had quite a few new paintings since the last entry. My digital camera is a little raggedy, and is rigged together right now with packing tape, but I will get some pictures posted if I have to resort to the camera phone!!! No more empty promises. Even though I don't think anyone is committed to reading this blog, frankly I don't think anyone has read it but me...but I'm going to post the pictures so at least I can have some visuals the next time I am reading it!!